Strong Not Skinny

Probably since I was around 10-11 years old I've been worried about my appearance. I was a goofy, lanky, spotty, greasy-haired young teenager and I hated how I looked. From then on it kind of only got worse and I ended up pretty much hating every part of myself. I was obsessed about being stick thin and for ages I was following loads of 'thinspo' blogs on tumblr because all I wanted was to be as thin as the models and I wasn't which made me so unbelievably self conscious.

While I do still want to be skinny and I still look at my body and get frustrated at things I see, I am a lot happier with my appearance than I have probably ever been. I still see people on tumblr or instagram with the most incredible figures and they're so skinny but still have good boobs and bum and I'm so jealous of them but I know that's probably not the best body shape for me or the shape I am meant to be.

If I want to be a strong athlete I need to have a different body shape to the likes of Kendall Jenner or Karlie Kloss with their tiny waists and skinny legs. I need muscle and a bit of weight on me so I'm stronger and I can produce the most power. So I'm starting to worry less about the size of my waist. I've kind of re-evaluated my life and I've decided it's more important for me to be strong than skinny. I'm trying my hardest to eat well; wholewheat pasta, lots of protein, veg and cutting down on my sugar but it is hard. This week has probably been a bad week, I've snacked a lot which I shouldn't have and I've eaten more sugar than I should've but everyone has bad weeks. I have to keep it all in perspective. Some weeks will be really good, others will be not so good but it's completely about balance. I'm still working out loads, I'm training hard and I'm really pushing myself. 

Aside from that I'm learning to accept that everyone has a different body shape and it is okay. Maybe I'm not meant to be that skinny girl with the 24 inch waist and narrow hips. But that is okay, it's hard to accept when I would love to look like that, but it is okay. Just like it's okay that I currently have a little more fat on me and my bum isn't as Kim K as I would like it to be. The main thing is I'm actually trying to change it. I have a new weights programme, I'm trying my best to eat well and I'm working out to skim off some of the fat. 

Waiting to see the change from the work I'm putting in is one of the hardest things. I do lots of ab exercises but it's taking a while to see a change and it'll take a while to see a difference so patience is definitely key! 

At the end of the day your body is your body and you have every right to be happy with it. It's likely to take some time, maybe even years but don't base your idea of perfect on someone else, just be you

! 

Thanks for Reading

Charlotte

XO