The evening before results day had been very relaxed, perhaps due to some rather strong mojitos and a much needed catchup with a very lovely friend but as soon as I got home I knew a relatively sleepless night was waiting. I spent a lot of the night trying to hold off a panic attack as I almost rehearsed how I'd feel after I knew I wasn't going to uni again. I tried to think of what else I could do instead of uni, perhaps more coaching? or an internship? Or just go straight into the world of full-time work. I didn't know what I'd do or how I would face my parents but either way I was 98% sure I wasn't going to university.
Well how wrong I was! I woke after 3-4 hours on and off sleep to a text from the University of Surrey informing me that my place at Surrey was confirmed. I refused to believe it was true so I immediately checked UCAS and to my complete and utter shock it was. I was going to university. Straight away I ran into my parents' room to wake them up and tell them the good news. I have never felt such relief than when I saw the acceptance on UCAS, I didn't even care what was in the envelope of my results now. It didn't matter, I got into my first choice university! Despite really working hard I didn't go up significantly in Biology but I did go up 10marks in Psychology which I was so happy about as that's what I'm studying.
Shortly after the university confirmation I was given my accommodation and thank god I got an ensuite room. Tt's located near the multi-million pound sports park which I'm certain I will be spending the majority of my time in! Soon I began finding flatmates and people on my course which I'm sure is going to make the initial moving in and meeting everyone so much easier. I've met one girl who is super similar to me and is on my course so we're hoping we are neighbours! The next step is buying everything for my room, I'm trying not to go crazy and just get essentials but I'm so excited to decorate my room with cute fairy lights, photos and make it nice and homely!
While I am so excited for this new adventure, to meet new people, start training properly again, be nearer to London and actually be learning again I'm also kind of terrified. I'm not scared about surviving on my own because I did a pretty good job of that this year. But this year was different, I was on my own. I was moving to a job where I was the only new person and there weren't many other people my age or in the same situation as me and in a way that was easier because I didn't feel any pressure to be someone or do things. Most of my friends were older than me, with a lot of them getting engaged and married (making me feel extremely single!). I didn't mind the age gap because I've always been someone who feels older than they are so it was actually nice to be the youngest. But there is now a part of me that feels fitting in with people my age will be a bit more difficult. I know I'm not the only one who has had a year out and there are a lot of 19 year olds starting this year but I keep worrying I won't fit in. I know it's ridiculous but it's just how my brain works. I know there will be so many different types of people at uni and I'll find a fab group of friends on my course, in my flat, from rowing or whatever clubs I decide to join yet my stupid over-thinking brain sometimes makes me feel like I won't.
I know once I've moved in and we start Freshers' Week I'll be absolutely fine. I probably will get homesick but I've got wonderful friends I can FaceTime and I know I'll make some great friends as soon as I'm there so I know I'm not alone. There will be other people who'll get homesick or will have similar thoughts to me so I know I'm not alone there either, I just need to get to uni and get on with it before I can overthink it anymore! Although I have got Bestival to get through first and I am extremely excited for that!
Everyone has told me that university is the best experience of your life and I can't wait to start my new adventure! It's reassuring that all my friends have had the best first year at university so let's hope it bodes well for me too! Wish me luck!
Thanks for Reading
Charlotte
XO
