Nostalgia

Nostalgia: 'A sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past'

I've recently come to realise I am an extremely nostalgic person which I guess has it's positives and negatives. 

I recently tweeted this:

Do you ever think back to a really happy memory and how amazing it was but then get really sad because you'll never experience those exact feelings you had in that exact moment. No matter what fun or exciting things happen which bring you the same level of happiness you'll never be able to feel exactly how you felt in that moment and that moment will never ever happen again' 

Without realising it I'd basically summed up what I think is nostalgia, or at least how I see it. I am really happy with life right now, it's not perfect but I love my job, I love rowing and training and I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family and really that's all I can ask for. Yet I keep finding myself looking back through my Facebook to see old photos or watch old videos which bring back such strong memories of my time at school. I really miss school, I miss my friends, the simplicity of life (even though I didn't realise it then) and the blissful ignorance I had to the world. I simply went to school, spent time with my friends, rowed and went home and I was okay with that.

Now I'm in a position of huge responsibility, I have a salary but I have to prioritise food, fuel and essentials over things I simply want, no matter how beautiful they may be. I have a job which puts me in a position of power and, again, responsibility over a large number of students. I have to sort appointments, book my car into the garage when something goes wrong, the list is endless and seems to grow with each week. And I am okay with that, I've always been quite a mature teenager and so I like independence and responsibility but it's also not easy. Constantly having to think about what to eat or when something must be done by is tiring (my nap frequency has increased dramatically, but that's another story). 

I love being able to remember these memories so vividly, it makes them feel really special but I think there is a negative aspect to it. I worry that because I think back to these memories, I'm perhaps not living in the moment, maybe I'm not enjoying everything around me in the current moment and maybe I won't remember it like I do with my past memories. I hope I am, and I think I am living in the moment but I think my nostalgia is holding me back from being completely grateful and happy about where I am now. 

So, while I love being nostalgic and I will continue to be I think it will be a less frequent occurrence so that in 2 or so years time I can look back on this time with nostalgia as strong as it is now! 

Thanks for reading

Charlotte

XO