Sunday 6 September 2015

Making an Effort

I've recently been faced with a lot of situations where I've been with people I hardly know and I've been forced to make more of an effort in conversations.

Normally, I'm the type of person who shies away from conversing with other people and waits for them to talk to me. I do this because I am a shy, introverted person before I really get to know people, but I've realised that it makes me seem boring and perhaps quite grumpy/snobby. Deciding to make more of an effort in these situations happened over time as I was exposed to them more. I witnessed people easily conversing with strangers and I wished I could do that. So, I took a deep breath, braced myself, opened my mouth and just spoke. And guess what? Nothing bad happened. 

With each situation I've gained more confidence and I'm now so much more comfortable talking to people I don't know. I've had interviews, made phone calls to strangers (which I used to dread) and I've met my new colleagues and I now feel so much more confident in my abilities. Before my voice would do this stupid squeaky thing and words would come out all funny which was so embarrassing and would make me want to speak less but I've found when I speak more confidently the squeaky-ness subsides. 

I think the main reason for my shyness was lack of confidence and worry of judgement but I now know I was worrying over nothing (just like usual really!). People will only judge you if you say something completely shocking or controversial. In a day to day conversation or in a little bit of small talk there is a very slim likelihood of you being judged (unless that person is a complete a**ehole then you don't want to talk to them at all!!

I realise that for a lot of people this is not an issue at all and you may read this and think it's a little pathetic and I just need to 'man up'. But having suffered with anxiety for about 4 years I know other people with anxiety/social anxiety may really struggle to talk in social situations so I really hope this post can help them a little bit to deal with these encounters and know they are going to be okay! 


Thanks for reading,
I hope it was helpful!
Charlotte


XO

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